“It is impossible to fully love those around you without learning to treat yourself like your own best friend.”
~ Prianca Naik
It’s February, and Valentine’s Day is around the corner. I am still recuperating from my daughter’s wedding, and it was one big loved up event. And I have been thinking a lot about love since the wedding. Yes, there is romantic love, filial love, and even love that is borne from the work you adore … and there is love as self-respect as well. The purpose of this newsletter is to talk about self-love and why it must be the foundation for any leader to be effective in their work.
Let’s unpack self-love. It’s a noun that means regard for one’s own well-being and happiness. It also means a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. So how do you love and nourish yourself? Your great skills? The parts of you that you may wish you didn’t have, but what contributes to your realness, vulnerability, and empathy for others? How do you be your own best wingman whom you trust in a crisis, and who will always serve you well?
Stephen Stills’ song lyric, “Love the one you’re with,” goes only so far and I would add, “begin with yourself.” When thirty psychologists were interviewed to discuss why self-love is so important, their responses included comments such as, we can finally examine those parts of us we may deem unlovable and honor and accept them, whether we like, want, or support them so we can create space and awareness for love to flow to all parts of ourselves for compassion, healing, and growth. We can look after ourselves like someone we would care for, that we are someone who deserves to be taken care of.
This all starts within us, way before self-care. When we work with the deepest layers of forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, and healing, that’s when quantum leaps forward in health and happiness occur almost effortlessly. Once you let your true self lead, you can make the contribution to the world that only you can make. It’s a sacred daily ritual that evolves as you evolve and in the process transforms your world and the people you lead.
~ Fran
Reflection questions on self-love to ponder:
- What gets in your way when practicing self-love?
- What script could you read to yourself which describes what you value about yourself, provides forgiveness and acceptance toward what is hard to embrace about yourself, and reminds you that you have great capacity?
- What does self-love look like in your daily life?
- How do you invite the people around you to consider the concept of self-love?
- How does self-love manifest itself in your leadership?
Powerful self-love quotes to inspire you:
- “We are unlikely to accept a relationship that is worse than the one we have with ourselves, and thus the person who is happy and comfortable with themselves is in a great position. The person with healthy self-esteem doesn’t have to jump into any relationship because they already have a great one wherever they go.” – James Clear
- “Self-love is not selfish. It’s the best thing you can do for the people you care about.” – Mary Ellen Ciganovich
- “I truly believe that self-love inspires selfless love.” – Keishorne Scott
- “It is only when we are able to accept all of ourselves that we can begin to truly consider whole self-love.” – Shannon Worley
- “Self-love empowers you to claim your wholeness and worth because it fuels authenticity over perfection.” – Melody Godfred
February 2023
February 2, 2023
Leadership Coaching and Site visits. Arlington Public Schools, Virginia
February 3, 2023
Planning Meeting. The Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, Washington, DC.
February 6-10, 2023
AAIE Annual Leadership Conference. Leadership presentations and Board of Trustees Meeting, Washington, DC.
February 13, 2023
Leadership Coaching and Site visits. Arlington Public Schools, Virginia
February 14, 2023
ECIS Advanced Communication Skills for Experienced Leaders. Part One. Virtual.
February 16-17, 2023
Leadership Training and Coaching. North Little Rock Public Schools. AK
February 21, 2023
ECIS Advanced Communication Skills for Experienced Leaders. Part Two. Virtual.
February 22, 2023
Aspiring Principals Training. Virginia Beach City Public Schools, VA
February 23-26, 2023
Self-love in Key West! Hello sunshine.
February 27-28, 2023
Principals Leadership Training. Arlington, Public Schools, VA